UPs and DOWNs
It has been two months since my last post and I contemplated so much about what to post. I have experienced many things and gave a lot thought to it. This has been on my mind lately so I decided to write it.
My friend once said that there were people she defined as 'successful products'. By successful product, it meant that they were raised into nice people successfully. My personality is such that I knew I wasn't one of those. There are a lot of things that need to be fixed. One that occupies my mind a lot is my negativity.
I am aware that I have a lot of negative energy. What I do, think, and speak are giving the negative energy. However, there is a little part of me that think negativity is not bad at all. After all, people need balance in their life.
The idea to change came from several posts ago, when I was talking about how I ended up joining the choir. Some things have changed since then. I noticed I didn't swear as much. Somehow, when we are singing, we let the negative feelings out. Well, that's my theory.
But even just a little, I want to change. Just that the process is extremely hard. Changing a part of myself feels like I'm betraying what I am. There were several occasion that I thought 'This is not me'. This is where a friend's blog post enlighten me. Born a Christian is just like that. You got up, fell, got up again, and so on. This endless cycle will always appear throughout your lives. And here I thought it was just me who had a hard time. But that process is what makes my life is worth living, isn't it?
And sometimes, it's just surprising how a little positivity could change big things. I'll take it as a reward and be grateful :)
My friend once said that there were people she defined as 'successful products'. By successful product, it meant that they were raised into nice people successfully. My personality is such that I knew I wasn't one of those. There are a lot of things that need to be fixed. One that occupies my mind a lot is my negativity.
I am aware that I have a lot of negative energy. What I do, think, and speak are giving the negative energy. However, there is a little part of me that think negativity is not bad at all. After all, people need balance in their life.
The idea to change came from several posts ago, when I was talking about how I ended up joining the choir. Some things have changed since then. I noticed I didn't swear as much. Somehow, when we are singing, we let the negative feelings out. Well, that's my theory.
But even just a little, I want to change. Just that the process is extremely hard. Changing a part of myself feels like I'm betraying what I am. There were several occasion that I thought 'This is not me'. This is where a friend's blog post enlighten me. Born a Christian is just like that. You got up, fell, got up again, and so on. This endless cycle will always appear throughout your lives. And here I thought it was just me who had a hard time. But that process is what makes my life is worth living, isn't it?
And sometimes, it's just surprising how a little positivity could change big things. I'll take it as a reward and be grateful :)
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